poetry- you are not alone

As we continue to write poems in grade 8, I wanted to share a quick exchange with you, to remind you that you are not alone if you are frustrated or struggling. Here is an email I received from a grade 8 student last night:

Hi Mr. Raisdana,

I am sitting here and sitting here racking my brain with this poem..

In my mind i know how i could write this story, but i cannot get it from my head to the screen without being unhappy with it.

I dont think i am going to be able to have my draft done for tomorrow (i also didnt get home till very late tonight) But may i please talk to you tomorrow and discuss as to how i can 'make' this poem.

I was hoping poetry would come a little more naturally to me, as i enjoy this unit.. just struggling at the moment.

Really sorry

thanks

 Here is my response: 

Just bring what you have and we can workshop in class. This is what poetry is about. It can be hard and that is okay. It doesn't always come easily, even for the pros. It takes time, blood, sweat and tears. You are, after all, finding a way to reveal your soul and paint the world in a way no one has ever seen before. This shouldn't be easy.

Hack away at it and we will get there.....thanks for sending me the email. At least I can see that this poem is on your mind and that matters. It is in you and wants to come out, we just need to find a way to let it out.

Mr. R

We Can Now Connect

i was thinking of you. and me. us. and the things that we do. in class and out. i do that a lot, think about you. me. us and the things we do in and out of class. i was thinking in chunks. and spurts. and messy punctuation. in lower cases and confusing places. i was thinking about you when i saw this:


But now our world is too small and too close for us not to make a difference

We can now connect
          
            Crowds around a cause
            The ignorant to knowledge
            The isolated to college
            Orphans to their fathers
            Donors to non-profits
            And injustices to those who can stop it......

.....The true nature of this new age unit
Is in how we use it
Woven into each and everyone of us there is an inner net
And I pray we may stitch our world back together
As we knit, patch, and connect


i was thinking of you. and me. us. and the things that we do. what are you thinking about?

You can read the words here and learn more about David.

the solar constant

I hope that sharing my digital story from Chiang Mai as you work on your stories will prove to be helpful. Take a look and read the notes following the clip for some advice and tips on your stories.

A few things to keep in mind and notice:

The four elements: 

1. Text- a narration
2. Images- well composed photos
3. Video- to help move the story and give it life
4. Music/sound effects- to add texture and possible narration with lyrics

I chose to create a poem from the Wikipedia page on The Sun as my narration.

The Solar Constant

The Sun formed about 4.6 billion years ago
from the gravitational collapse of a region
within a large molecular cloud.

Most of the matter gathered in the center,
while the rest flattened
into an orbiting disk
that would become
the Solar System.

The Sun
is the star
at the center of the Solar System.
It is almost perfectly spherical
and consists of hot plasma
interwoven with magnetic fields,

She is currently traveling
through the Local Interstellar Cloud
(near to the G-cloud)
in the Local Bubble zone,
within the inner rim
of the Orion Arm
of the Milky Way galaxy.

Sunlight is Earth's primary source of energy.
The solar constant
 is the amount of power
that the Sun deposits
per unit area
that is directly exposed to sunlight.

Earth's ultimate fate is precarious.
By the time it is an asymptotic giant branch star,
the Sun will have lost roughly 30%
of its present mass due to a stellar wind,
so the orbits of the planets will move outward,
The Earth will be swallowed by the Sun owing to tidal interactions

I contrasted this scientific story with random text narration to add a sense of universality and wonder. The next layer were the lyrics from the song Hard Sun. I wanted to add texture and deeper meaning to the running narratives (follow the research to see the connection to this film) By using the sun poem, the random bits of text and this song, I was trying to tell three stories at the same time:

1. Scientific
2. Cosmic
3. Lyrical

The main theme of my story was the fact that the sun is a part of everything on earth. It is a part of us. I felt that the lyrics showed how we are under her power:

There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world 

I could have had Eddie Vedder sing the song, but I wanted to give it a try myself. I know I am not the best singer, but I think there is value in trying. I wanted to model for you that you don;t always have to be perfect or great to share a talent and a love. I love to sing. I love music. I love this song and I wanted to give my voice a chance.

I chose soft images to contrast the idea of a hard sun with the reality of a meaningful and tender one. You can find the whole set here. I added video to help move through different parts of the story: 

• Rising sun (Dawn)
• Moving leaves
• Cat
• Caterpillar
• Drive from nature to city
• Butcher
• Drive to village
• Buddha statue
• Sunset

I hope that helps. I do not want to give away too many secrets and hidden intentions. What do you think? What did you notice? What ideas did you gain? What questions do you have? Any feedback? 

us all:

We are nearing the end of our poetry unit in grade seven, and while I feel we only scratched the surface there have been some amazing poems. I am very impressed with much of what I have seen. Watching you all write such heartfelt, open and authentic poems has reminded me that I too need to have a bout with the verse.

A few nights ago, I began to draft my I Am From poem. I was hoping to tinker and edit and play it with it some more, but every time I look at it I feel like it is done. I will release it into the universe now and see where it sticks.

us all: 

I am from the quiet rooms of only children
and loving parents
who didn't know how to try any harder.
Lost in a new wilderness
Lost in youth-
no one said it would be this hard.
   
I am from blame and forgiveness.
shame and power.
I am from empty bottles and full ash trays.
    all night labyrinths of political discourse
    the bent record player needles:
    crinkling and crackling over ridges
    tracing the fortunes of countless stories.

I am from Sunday's by the creek
redwoods watching
water striders puncturing the surface
the tension.
the sun.
the bliss.
I am from all things
exposed and hidden.

I am from drunken love and drunken tempers
    from the tight rope and the near falls
I am from the recovery
the endurance
the survival.

I am from pistachios and pomegranates
jasmine blossoms and saffron.
I am from compasses pointing east.
    mumbled prayers
    beneath her sheets and shrouds.    
I am from revolution and exile
a broken culture bought and sold.
    The price of oil is always high.
I'm from the hangman's noose and
    Friday Prayers.

I am from single moms
and good intentioned dads
from car accidents,
hospital rooms and broken bones.
I am from the terror in the dark.
Left alone:
I'm from growing up too fast
and endless promises
bound together by faith and time
held together
for now.
   
I am from the middle class
and just barely enough
and from never fitting in.
I am from the effeminate
the not too macho:
tender born and resilient
I am from skin and bones and lashes long.

I am from songs soft and tubes of paint
burnt umber and indigo
smeared canvasses and stained hands.
I am from songs loud and hard
and drenched in rage.

I am from the art that saves us all:
poems and songs and unnameable things
I am from within you
as you are from me.

I would love to hear your thoughts. It has been a great experience to explore these rooms through poetry. I cannot wait to read your finished poems and hopefully see them set free for others to read.

The World in Words and Film

Attention middle school writers, film makers, artists and creative types! The middle school English department has a challenge for you.

Christmas writing challenge: "The world in words and film"
You are encouraged to go out into the world and make a video of yourselves reading up to four lines of original poetry or prose inspired by a special place. This place should feature in a video. Maybe you are visiting the Taj Mahal or your favourite tree:

• Write about it
• Film it
• Upload your film
• Share it on your blog

A collection of the best films will be shown in assembly during Writers' Fortnight in Week 2 of next term. Unfortunately I was in Chiang Mai when this video was made, but I will upload my own soon enough. Any questions can go in the comments to help others or ask me in person this week.Looking forward to seeing what you create.

on writing poetry

Hey grade sevens!

This came at the perfect time. I was exploring the nooks and crannies of the Interwebz, when lo and behold what should I find?

A few things to keep in mind while sitting down to write a poem:

1. Don't tell the readers what they already know about life.
2. Don't assume you're the only one in the world who suffers.
3. Some of the greatest poems in the language are sonnets and poems not many lines longer than that, so don't overwrite.
4. The use of images, similes and metaphors make poems concise. Close your eyes, and let your imagination tell you what to do.
5. Say the words you are writing aloud and let your ear decide what word comes next.
6. What you are writing down is a draft that will need additional tinkering, perhaps many months, and even years of tinkering.
7. Remember, a poem is a time machine you are constructing, a vehicle that will allow someone to travel in their own mind, so don't be surprised if it takes a while to get all its engine parts properly working.

original source 

Anyone else out there have any tips? Would love to see them in our comments.

ten things i know to be true

Thanks to Ms. Paula for reminding me to share my list of ten things with you. This is primarily for my grade seven students as we explore poetry, but might prove insightful for the rest of you as well. The idea of the list is based on Sarah Kay's amazing ted talk below:

1. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. Things that are easy are seldom valuable.

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepidteacher 

2. Everyone is broken in one way or another. We are all stories made from scars, which upon inspection prove to run deep and beautiful.

3. Music has been my oldest and best friend. My therapist, my guide, my savior and my family.

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepidteacher

 

4. Nature is a wondrous and complex system that does not operate outside of us. We are nature. 

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepidteacher

 

5. Children and young adults are the key to the future and we should never devalue your voice. Young people matter and it is my job to remind everyone of this fact.

6. Anyone can be creative  and express themselves when they see beyond their fear of judgement.

7. Human beings are naturally good. When given a chance they will prove this to you.

8. Nearly all conflict is based on misunderstanding and poor communication. We need to listen and emphasize before we speak.

9. There will never be enough time to do it all. Life is short so stay committed to curiosity and exploration. Make everyday about learning something new about the world or yourself.

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepidteacher 

10. Fear is the biggest obstacle. It must be overcome to move forward in anything.

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepidteacher

Sarah mentions that our thoughts and ideas intersect, so where do you agree with me? Where do you think our lists connect? Would love to see your ideas in the comments below.

How To Be Alone

Here is one of my favorite things on the Internet

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

So where does that take you?  What does that make you feel? Share your thoughts in the comments.